Alone, But Not Alone

It's really not a great thing to have too much free time. Too much free time means too much time to think. Too much time to think means I start to feel blue or to start feeling sorry for myself over something.  Today was one of those days when motivation just seemed to be at an all-time low. So I sat around doing a bunch of nothing. Surfing the web, checking Facebook...repeatedly, checking out the shopping websites (never a good thing when you are feeling sorry for yourself!), even watching netflix, which I never do in the middle of the day unless I am working on a project up in the craft room!r

I'm sure some would think, "What have you got to feel sorry for yourself about?" I know, I have been blessed with a wonderful husband who has worked hard to support me for nearly 28 years while I have been a stay-at-home mom, raising our 3 wonderful kids! I have a beautiful home and suddenly, plenty of time to renovate and decorate that home.  I know all that, and I am grateful every single day for that. 

But I have something that I have struggled with for many years that some people will not understand. That is loneliness. Not loneliness when I am alone. I actually love being alone. I am an introvert, so essentially, my energy is renewed when I am alone. I can almost always find something to occupy myself when I am alone. No, loneliness actually starts to creep in when I am around groups of people. Sadly, the place where this feeling starts to creep in the most often is at church. Don't get me wrong, I love being in church. I love the people.  I love to worship! But before and after the service, when everyone is standing around in little groups, chit chatting, catching up on each other's lives...I feel so alone...like there is not a soul in the building who really cares about what is going on with my life. Yep...sorry for myself. In my heart I know that is not true, but my head needs a little help. 

So instead of continuing on this self-destructive path ( yes my drug-of-choice comes in to play when I start feeling sorry for myself...CHOCOLATE!!!) I turned to the only ONE who knows and understands what I am feeling and wants to help. 

I am not a theologian who is going to spout off some deep thoughts about the passages I found, so I just copied them here so that I can come back to them when I start feeling down again.  If there is anyone that is actually reading this (I'm not posting to FB), I hope these verses can help you some too.

Psalm 25:16-17
“Turn to me and have mercy on me, because I am lonely and hurting.
My troubles have grown larger; free me from my problems.” (NCV)

1 Peter 5:7 “Casting all your care upon him; for he cares for you.” ~ KJV Ad.

John 16:33 ESV 

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Psalm 23:1 ESV /

A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

Blessings, 

Ronda

Craft Room Update!!

Hello my Lovelies!

Life has been more than crazy! More on that in a later post...

But for now...

Remember this "unique" find from a few months ago?

I actually finished it a few months ago with DIY white chalk paint and a few coats of matte polycrylic. I finally found time to put finishing touches on the craft room so that it is now presentable as an extra guest room!

Yes, she is indeed a lovely little lady now! 

Take note that the ugly green sofa parts are gone, gone, GONE!!!

In its place, the futon that has gone through college with both sons, once black, now sprayed white. Now, with a sturdy new mattress, so hopefully guests will sleep comfortably and hubby can sit comfortably to watch tv when I am working in here. 

I made curtains to cover up my messes in the closets :)  

The one on the left was a unique challenge...

The one the right was a bit more inspired...

Are you ready for Thanksgiving???

Blessings, 

Ronda

Refrigerator Box

You may be wondering, "why on earth have we not heard from Ronda in ages?" Seems to be becoming the norm for me to go a long time between blog posts.

Ah, well, this time I have a really great reason!

VOILA!!

I wouldn't go so far as to say that this is the big kitchen reveal. Quite obviously not done...I won't draw your attention to those things that have yet to be changed.

But do let me draw your attention to the lovely braided rug that my hubby bought me for my birthday!

I spent the last week and a half working on the upper cabinets.

I designed, and my DH built the box above the fridge.  It wasn't there before.
Just a reminder...

Yeah, I know!!!! It's now so light and bright now!!  Love. IT. :)

Trying to decide what I want to put in the open box.  Decor?  ie...

Or some storage options?

These are just baskets I had in other places.  In fact, the burlap lined one has stuff in it, you just can't see it! Bonus! But I'm a big fan of the one on the left.  And I am actually leaning more towards this direction.  Just not sure what I would store up here because I wouldn't want just anything to show up there.

Thoughts?

Blessings, 

Ronda

Console Table

So, my sweet husband is something of a pack rat :)

He comes by it naturally, both his parents are too.  

But, I must confess, there are times when those pack rat tendencies come in quite handy.  

Like when I decided I wanted a console table behind my love seat so that I would have somewhere to set drinks, magazines, glasses, etc.  And since it is technically in my "office" area, I could throw a few office things on there, too!

So, I come up with a picture in my head of what I want, explain it to my hubby, via pics on the web, and voila! I have my console table! 

The wood we used had a couple of different looks to it, so we took advantage of that.  The wood on the top and on the shelf came from an old bunk bed that we took apart.  It had a dark finish already.  The rest of it was pine from inside the wall we removed.  

I wanted to try the recipe that I have seen with steel wool and vinegar to age the wood.  Didn't work quite like I had envisioned, or I did something wrong.  Because it turned the wood quite orangey. And there was a dusty orange film on it.  

So I rubbed it all down and started over.  This time I used a water down version of black milk  paint to just give it a wash of color.  Liking this much better!  I only painted the pine boards, not the ones that were already dark.  Then I gave it a coat of antiquing wax and it was done!

Well, maybe not quite that simple since I ran out of the wax I was using and was too impatient to wait until I could get some more, so created my own using clear wax and a bit of dark stain.  

I like the way it turned out!

Blessings, 

Ronda

Linking to:

Why Blog?

Wow, I just saw the date of my last post!

I am really bad at this regular blogging stuff! 

2 weeks! 

Does this imply that I am not cut out for the blogging world? 

I'm not sure...maybe...maybe not. 

A blog in its simplest form is just an online diary.  Simple enough. 

And yet, I have not kept a diary since I was a tween, so why do I suddenly think that I can keep up with one now? 

Maybe because on a computer, it is so much quicker and easier? I mean, who hand writes anything anymore? I seem to have a hard time even signing my name! So what would take me an hour to hand write, I can type out in 15 min or less. And I can add pictures to it, too!

But what kind of content would I be putting in a diary? When I was a tween it was about friends and crushes.  How on earth can I come up with daily, or even weekly, content that anyone is interested in reading?  Especially when it is just about me? 

I hear talk of being "transparent."  What on earth does that mean? Who wants to show their innards to the world? Certainly not me, because then they would see that who I am is only skin deep. Yep, that's right people, this pastor's wife is as shallow as they come! I have nothing of any depth to share with the world! 

That's ok, you say. Not every blog has to be deep and meaningful. Some blogs are just about pretty pictures. 

Oops, so I kind of miss the mark there, too.  I am working on pretty-ing up my pics. Something I am enjoying immensely.  I am finding it takes a lot of work however.  Is that something I am willing and able into which to invest my time? 

I have long thought of myself as a writer, envisioning what it would be like to write a great piece of chick lit (my favorite style of read, btw).  Could my blog reflect that and just be pieces of one big story?

Right now, there is nothing special about my blog.  It is just a poor reflection of other blogs that I follow and enjoy.  Nothing to make it stand out or draw people. 

So, why did I start a blog, you may ask? 

Initially it was to share pics of my current projects with my family and friends who only darken my door a few times a year at most.  And maybe most of them don't even care about what I am doing in my spare time, but I know there are a few who do.  

I know some of you are anxiously awaiting the revelation of what my new mission in life will be. And here you thought that with all this build-up, that I was going to tell you what it was.

NOPE! 

Just some of those random thoughts mentioned in my title! Ha! 

But I will grace you with this teaser of what my cabinets are becoming!

LOVING IT!!!!

Blessings, 

Ronda

Lessons From Gideon

Some recent goings-on (and some not so recent) have prompted me to once again start evaluating where I stand in my life. 

With my lovely daughter being a senior this year, I am quickly closing in on the empty-nest syndrome. 

And with the advent of the empty-nest syndrome comes the inevitable question: "So what are you going to do now?"

GRRRRR!!!

Yes, all these people are very well-meaning, they are only curious about this because they know that I have devoted the last 16 years to be being a full-time home-schooling mom.  

And I know that I do get annoyed far too easily.  My knee-jerk reaction is "What's wrong with what I'm doing now? Why do I have to do something else?" After all, I do have a part-time job as a piano teacher extraordinaire ;)

And the rest of my time is spent, as those of you who read my blog know, working on my home.  

So this has been on my mind for a while, but then a few weeks ago I started a Bible study on Gideon.  Those of you who know the story of Gideon know that he was challenged by God to step way outside of his comfort zone and become the leader (judge) God intended for him to be.  Gideon seemed to be a guy with a major self-esteem issue. He didn't seem to think very highly of himself, so he couldn't really see why God would think that people would actually follow his lead in any daily activity, let alone in going to battle against their enemies, the Midianites. In this, I seem to have a lot in common with Gideon, for you see, this has always been my fear. My excuse if you will, for not stepping out and leading.  That fear is grounded in reality, for I have had bad experiences with stepping out and leading where I thought that God wanted me to go.  And not waiting for God to tell me where He wanted me to lead resulted in... well, poor results.  

And now I feel God tugging at my heart to do...something.  No, I'm not sure what.  Does it involve furniture?  I don't know.  I think maybe in a perfect world it does. :)

I'm sure it involves stepping out of my comfort zone.  Going to battle with my poor self-esteem. Loving people like Jesus did.  

I am trying to quietly and patiently wait for God to whisper my mission in my ear. 

So tough, when I seem to be so good at making up my own missions!

I thought I would add a few of my artsy-fartsy pics for your entertainment pleasure! :)

Oh, and by the way, I believe I have it set up so that if you feel so moved, you can subscribe to my posts to get them by email.  Look for the subscribe button on the right. 

Blessings,

Ronda

4 Hours!!

This morning/afternoon I spent 4 hours sanding a cabinet door!  

It was certainly not how I would have chosen to spend this day.  But since starting this kitchen renovation, I have been trying very hard to make sure that everything that I do will be something that I can be happy with for a very long time.  

So after finishing my pantry (alright, not truly finished as we still don't have the crown molding on it), I realized that I much preferred the finish that I ended up with on that piece to the first cabinet that I had painted black. 

No pic of the other cabinet, but it was just too shiny and the distressing didn't show as much as I would like.  

Here's where my inexperience shows, since I thought that I would just lightly sand to take the shine off, then be able to put another coat of paint, distress again, and top coat like I did the pantry.  

BUT NO!!

I started sanding and the poly coating started to roll and ball up. GRRRR!

So, using a sanding block, I tediously sanded the poly coating off of a cabinet door.  I did it very cautiously to try to avoid over-distressing. I used tweezers to peel it out of the corners!!!  

And the whole 4 hours I was sitting outside in the blazing heat!

Actually it wasn't terrible in the shade. 

And when I was finished I was covered in black dust!

I don't have a pic of the finished product, but honestly, I am still trying to decide whether it is too distressed for my taste. 

In the mean time, note my new clock!

And me trying to be artistic...

Blessings,

Ronda