Alone, But Not Alone

It's really not a great thing to have too much free time. Too much free time means too much time to think. Too much time to think means I start to feel blue or to start feeling sorry for myself over something.  Today was one of those days when motivation just seemed to be at an all-time low. So I sat around doing a bunch of nothing. Surfing the web, checking Facebook...repeatedly, checking out the shopping websites (never a good thing when you are feeling sorry for yourself!), even watching netflix, which I never do in the middle of the day unless I am working on a project up in the craft room!r

I'm sure some would think, "What have you got to feel sorry for yourself about?" I know, I have been blessed with a wonderful husband who has worked hard to support me for nearly 28 years while I have been a stay-at-home mom, raising our 3 wonderful kids! I have a beautiful home and suddenly, plenty of time to renovate and decorate that home.  I know all that, and I am grateful every single day for that. 

But I have something that I have struggled with for many years that some people will not understand. That is loneliness. Not loneliness when I am alone. I actually love being alone. I am an introvert, so essentially, my energy is renewed when I am alone. I can almost always find something to occupy myself when I am alone. No, loneliness actually starts to creep in when I am around groups of people. Sadly, the place where this feeling starts to creep in the most often is at church. Don't get me wrong, I love being in church. I love the people.  I love to worship! But before and after the service, when everyone is standing around in little groups, chit chatting, catching up on each other's lives...I feel so alone...like there is not a soul in the building who really cares about what is going on with my life. Yep...sorry for myself. In my heart I know that is not true, but my head needs a little help. 

So instead of continuing on this self-destructive path ( yes my drug-of-choice comes in to play when I start feeling sorry for myself...CHOCOLATE!!!) I turned to the only ONE who knows and understands what I am feeling and wants to help. 

I am not a theologian who is going to spout off some deep thoughts about the passages I found, so I just copied them here so that I can come back to them when I start feeling down again.  If there is anyone that is actually reading this (I'm not posting to FB), I hope these verses can help you some too.

Psalm 25:16-17
“Turn to me and have mercy on me, because I am lonely and hurting.
My troubles have grown larger; free me from my problems.” (NCV)

1 Peter 5:7 “Casting all your care upon him; for he cares for you.” ~ KJV Ad.

John 16:33 ESV 

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Psalm 23:1 ESV /

A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

Blessings, 

Ronda