Monday, June 16, 2014

Alone, But Not Alone

It's really not a great thing to have too much free time. Too much free time means too much time to think. Too much time to think means I start to feel blue or to start feeling sorry for myself over something.  Today was one of those days when motivation just seemed to be at an all-time low. So I sat around doing a bunch of nothing. Surfing the web, checking Facebook...repeatedly, checking out the shopping websites (never a good thing when you are feeling sorry for yourself!), even watching netflix, which I never do in the middle of the day unless I am working on a project up in the craft room!r

I'm sure some would think, "What have you got to feel sorry for yourself about?" I know, I have been blessed with a wonderful husband who has worked hard to support me for nearly 28 years while I have been a stay-at-home mom, raising our 3 wonderful kids! I have a beautiful home and suddenly, plenty of time to renovate and decorate that home.  I know all that, and I am grateful every single day for that. 

But I have something that I have struggled with for many years that some people will not understand. That is loneliness. Not loneliness when I am alone. I actually love being alone. I am an introvert, so essentially, my energy is renewed when I am alone. I can almost always find something to occupy myself when I am alone. No, loneliness actually starts to creep in when I am around groups of people. Sadly, the place where this feeling starts to creep in the most often is at church. Don't get me wrong, I love being in church. I love the people.  I love to worship! But before and after the service, when everyone is standing around in little groups, chit chatting, catching up on each other's lives...I feel so there is not a soul in the building who really cares about what is going on with my life. Yep...sorry for myself. In my heart I know that is not true, but my head needs a little help. 

So instead of continuing on this self-destructive path ( yes my drug-of-choice comes in to play when I start feeling sorry for myself...CHOCOLATE!!!) I turned to the only ONE who knows and understands what I am feeling and wants to help. 

I am not a theologian who is going to spout off some deep thoughts about the passages I found, so I just copied them here so that I can come back to them when I start feeling down again.  If there is anyone that is actually reading this (I'm not posting to FB), I hope these verses can help you some too.

Psalm 25:16-17
“Turn to me and have mercy on me, because I am lonely and hurting.
My troubles have grown larger; free me from my problems.” (NCV)

1 Peter 5:7 “Casting all your care upon him; for he cares for you.” ~ KJV Ad.

John 16:33 ESV 

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Psalm 23:1 ESV /

A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.



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